Single Man

I popped into my local early last night for a small restorative before dinner. I was delighted to see a new girl behind the bar.... slightly nervous, no idea how much to charge or where anything is, but thats ok.... in a few weeks she will be in full control I am sure.......

..... anyway, to more important matters...... she is a bit of a cutie truth be told..... rapidly added to my things to do list!

So far I have discovered that her name is Lucy, 20, Uni didn't work out.... feeling a little lost and directionless, now back at home.... not happy there either..... trying to get a few quid together to go travelling........

.... so all I really heard was...... blah blah..... blah..... feeling low... a bit vulnerable..... hence open to offers of excitement..... I figure that she will be up for any reasonable offer that brightens her day......

She looks about 5' 8" ish, auburn shoulder length hair, big brown eyes, friendly smile, sad but still sparkly eyes, slim..... I'm guessing a size 8, maybe 10 at a push..... in short.... a good looking girl...... trim waist... unusual in this town full of chubbies! She claims to hit the gym three times a week... but then we all claim that don't we??? I do love girls that have flat stomachs...... increasingly rare in these fast food times, but a treat when you find someone who looks after themselves.

Personally I think about going to the gym three times a week, and perhaps make it happen once..... or twice on occasion.

So armed with what I know so far I will make my play for a date over the weekend...... she is definately worth implementation of my four date policy...... so you'll be able to see it in action!

She said she was working tonight and Saturday too so I will get in there and get in there.... so to speak!

The lovely Lucy as she is now to be known has already shown a little interest in that she was quite open chatting and have a fresh pint ready for me as I finished the last...... always a good sign I find.

I will keep you posted.

It has been nights such as the Boston Strangler incident that have led me to develop my extensive dating philosophy. The basic premise is to extract as much fun from dating as possible with as little agro, hassle, or grief.... which ultimately means keeping women out of the way as much as possible! The only reason I say this is that while girls may well be the cause of much of the pleasure in a mans life, they are simultaneously responsible for 99% of the grief.

I spent a few years operating a bespoke dating system that I devised myself after years of dutiful study. This system was the "Four Date Rule", a stroke of genius on my part and very successful too I might add. It has over time been adopted by colleagues eager to benefit from its powers.

The basic principles are as follows;

1/ You are only going to date person "x" for four dates. Not three, not five, but four.

2/Because of this you will subconsciously put in far more effort to maximise not only your enjoyment but that of "x" too..... you see, not so selfish after all!!

3/ Date one, is happening because you want to shag "x" and so far you haven't.

4/ Date two, is so that having got the first date out of the way, you can actually fuck her properly, cross all the "t"s, dot all the "i"s make the earth move, give her a night to remember you for, etc etc

5/ Date three, is to find out where her line in the sand is? I believe that everyone has a line in the sand that they will not cross.... but at the same time they also have a price for which they will do anything. Not necessarily a financial price, but a price, a reward, a feeling, an emotion, call it what you will........ virtually everyone will reach a point at some time when you are asking them to cross their line in the sand...... it can be boringly close, for example girls who think they are too good to give blow jobs...... or it can be frighteningly distant such as the occasion when I found myself in the role of dungeon master... in a real dungeon with one of the dirtiest girls I have ever had the pleasure of fucking when there we were, her fully bondaged up, trussed, tied, gagged and whipped, there's me fucking her up the arse.... whilst fucking her with a peeled cucumber at the same time...... now, I was starting to think that this girls line in the sand had been washed clean away when I found it........ I was all for adding the cucumber to the salad we were having with dinner...... and she freaked..... it never fails to surprise me where the line will appear, but........ it is always there!

6/ Date 4, is to double check that you have no desire or need for a 5th date. Now this can get tricky for lots of men who have tried this dating system, they think that they have had such a good time they will carry on...... but that is as you can imagine an error. The only reason that they had four great dates is because they knew it was only temporary. Indeed all relationships are just that, temporary.... sooner or later one or the other of you will die, get sick of the site of the other, run off with your cousins' sisters' dog walker... or whatever, so all you are doing with the system is condensing a long often boring, dull, nag filled shopfest relationship with an abridged highlights version.......... genius I am sure you will agree?

I used this very successfully for years until I was hoist by my own petard and consented to a fifth date........

One of the most bizarre experiences I have ever had was when I was out in Lincolnshire. Not actually in Boston, but it made a good title!

I was in a pub and got chatting to a nice looking young girl, mid twenties, slim, nice smile..... and as it transpires during the course of events..... a certifiable nutcase!

We had a few drinks together and one thing led to two things and we ended up back at her place. Coffee, Everything but the girl on cd (which is a key indicator of a woman in pain) and a few candles flickering and there we were bish bash bosh........ I love the way girls proclaim their virtue so valiantly while simultaneously chucking their own knickers over their shoulder and assuming the position! The line " I never usually do this on a first date" is a standard line it seems which makes me;

A/ a super stud whom women cannot resist (highly unlikely)
B/ witness to the fact that many girls are lying slappers!

So there we were, having a kiss and a cuddle her enthuasiasically naked, me in my boxers and as I said bish bash bosh all is good in the world. Ten minutes or so into it we had a position change and she went on top.... and it was at this point ladies and gentlemen that things took what I can only describe as a turn for the worst.

During the next few moments we kissed a bit, and then slowly but firmly she put her hands around my neck and started to squeeze. Only gently at first, which caused me surprise, but initially I wasn't too concerned. However as the moments passed and I realised the full implications of her tightening grip I did start to question the wisdom of remaining in such a vulnerable position any longer. With cavalier abandon I rapidly came to the conclusion that this particular fuck had run its course so with what I can by now only describe as mild panic I threw her off me and onto the floor. Grabbing up my discarded clothing I dressed as hurriedly as I could, and despite her protests about misunderstandings I made my excuses and left.

To say that I felt I had had a luck escape is an understatement, at that moment I felt fortunate to have survived with everything intact! I lit a cigarette, fired up my car and headed home, older but seemingly no wiser.

The following day I received a call from the nutcase herself and was as you can predict dubious about taking it, lest this was the beginning of some mad stalker ritual. I answered her call, more out of curiosity that anything else, after all, how many murderers call their failed victims the following day? I don't have accurate figures, but I suspect it to be quite a low number.

Sheepishly she apologised for her actions and then set about trying to explain what had occured and why. It turns out that she had had quite a few one night stands that she had wanted to be more than that. She in her own way concluded that it must be because she was not a very good shag that they didn't come back, so she had set about doing some research. The information that she had relied upon had been gleaned from Cosmo or some similar chick tat publication, and under the headline "Give your man the best sex he ever had" she had devoured the article on asphyxiation taking each and every word as literally as it is possible to do..... I was lucky not to get an orange in my mouth and a bin bag over my head!

The part of the article that she must have speed read, ignored or dismissed as superfluous probably contained little snippets such as "if you are in a loving, trusting relationship" and " talk about it first so he knows what to expect"....... at no point in time did it occur to her that her actions might be misunderstood.

All she had wanted to do was to give me the best sex I had ever had so that I would stick around...... odd how strangulation sometimes doesn't achieve that!

I do want to make it clear from the outset, I am not a woman hating bastard, a misogynist or any other thing that you care to label me. I love women, lots of them, but usually for quite short periods of time!

Since I can recall I have been drawn to the women that are beyond my grasp, the one that says no, the unavailable ones. Once they are there wanting to be with me I lose interest, not intentionally, but it happens, I can't seem to control it or change it as a behaviour so over time I have learnt to live with it and to go with the flow.

I had always hoped that as I got older I would mature and lose this trait, but the reverse has actually occured, my attention span is getting shorter with my patience at the years pass. I am a firm believer that if you haven't got what you want, go with what your got. I don't mean that from a partner point of view, but rather in life. Some people wait until everything is in place and correct before they start their business, get married, have a family etc, but I have always rather got going with whatever ingredients I have at my disposal.

I seem to have been blessed with a quirky sex drive that will drive me to the four corners of the earth pursuing a fresh challenge...... but soon gives up trying once that conquest has been made.

I have loved and I think been loved by three significant partners, each of whom I could have settled down with. In each situation however, it was as if they realised how it would end up even though they were lengthy relationships by my standards. They were most probably right too...... I don't think I will ever be a pipe and slippers putting the kids to bed type of chap. I am more of a good time charlie that women use to cheer themselves up with when their real plans didn't work out......
Not that I mind that task, it offers me all of the fun with none of the responsibility that so often sucks the life out of you.

I have the utmost respect for those who can love the same woman all their lives. It is a skill set that I am missing from my makeup.

I guess I am superficial and even though I initially feel a massive attraction to a woman, once we have had sex I only seem able to focus on her flaws and those traits that piss me off...... at times I truly wish I didn't.

Throughout my adult life I have always maintained more interest in those women who never gave themselves to me totally...... the few women who for whatever reason knew how to play me have given me the most pleasure and frustration in equal measure.

To me the most frustrating word in the world is "Maybe" it means no in "woman" whereas "No" frequently if not always means yes and "Yes" actually means maybe in "Pricktease".

I spend years in my youth chasing a "Maybe" who on and off still says yes...... and has kept me wanting her for all that time.

The purpose of this blog is not in any way to offend, upset, defame, embarrass, or otherwise to affect anyone in an adverse way. My reasons for writing this blog are actually as follows;

1/ For some time now I have been looking for an outlet for the thoughts and ramblings that often scamper through my head regarding my inability to stick with one girl for more that a few days.

2/ I concluded that if I felt like that then the possibility existed that others did too. The aim of this blog, should it be worthy enough to have a purpose is to bring together like minded souls under one umbrella so that we may further discuss our shortcomings, longcomings and everything in between.

3/ I fully appreciate that some of my views, opinions and thoughts will cause distress to some members of society, but what you are priveleged to be reading here is the truth as it is seen through my eyes. It is a little know fact that in the course of a relationship men lie, not as much as women might, but they do. The reasons for this are simple..... we don't care about most of the pointless crap that seems to matter to women, so the smarter men amongst us do what comes naturally and they lie in order to keep their partner happy. They lie about everything, from their likes and dislikes to that age old question "Does this outfit make me look fat?" The answer incidentally is that no that outfit does not make you look fat, it is completely innocent.... your big arse makes you look fat in any outfit you put on....... but smart men of course would never say that to their partner would they? Result they live with a fat woman who they end up not fancying and ultimately leaving.

My question is.... who does that benefit?

4/ I intend to examine every area of relationships during the course of the next few years, and would appreciate your thoughts and comments as and when you see fit.

5/ Just to reiterate it is NOT my intent to upset anyone (by which I mean mostly touchy idealist women) during the writing of this blog. I wish only to encourage open debate about issues that affect everyone on earth.

6/ I don't intend to offer any apologis for my past behaviour, I know there will be a contingent who believe that as a single man I should leave married women alone..... but on the other hand they are often the easiest women to fuck..... and have the added bonus of only having limited time to dedicate to their own extramarital activities. I see this as a win win situation for me as I seldom have to make small talk with women that I just want to fuck, but get them out of the door very efficiently!

7/ I have no moral issue with sleeping with married women. I have after all not made any promise, vow or oath not to. I look at the matter like this, it is their infidelity not mine, so why should I feel guilty...... and define guilt anyway..... I think my version is a little twisted by comparison with that of the general public. If the actual infidelity figures were a measurable quantity I think the planet would be shocked at just how much extra marital fucking takes place. I know for my part that the most unlikely of women will cheat on their men when it looks an impossibility. I look at it that if they have fucked me, then how many other chaps have they also fucked. It always makes me laugh when they trot out the "I have never done anything like this before" line which judging by their composure, planning detail and general enthusiasm they clearly have........ whats wrong with a little honesty that what I say?

It seems to me that a large quantity of women in relationships do want, or need some sex with a different partner on occasion and this being the case.... perhaps I actually provide a useful no strings service for them?

"You laugh at me because I am different.... I laugh at you because you are all the same"

I have often wondered how I arrived at this point in my life. How have I gone from having a three year cohabiting relationship with a girl I thought the world of, to a succession of one night stands, two night stands and what I like to think of as binge fucking.

It has never been a conscious decision making process, but has instead crept up on me and become my life. After all, we can't help what we like and dislike can we? Can I make the decision to be attracted to someone or is it out of my hands. I get the feeling that I am not alone in feeling like this, there are so many people living the same lifestyle as I am that they must to one extent or another have the same thought processes.

What has amazed me is the specific nature of my thought patterns, why am I so drawn to women that I haven't yet slept with and yet as soon as I have I need to get away from them? In my youth I used to think that I would grow out of this and that it was just a part of the mating process.

There is a reason why so many relationships fail after 2 to 5 years, and it is perhaps biological. Love and attraction are chemically induced states that ensure the continuation of the species, but those feelings fade after a few years causing couples to drift apart or split up. There must be reasons for this, and perhaps it is mankinds desire to remain married that is infact the unnatural state. Men and women are not supposed to live together for extended periods of time, but instead just for long enough to breed and for their offspring to grow to an age when they are large enough to survive under the care of one parent.

It is my contention that those couples that stay together for life are the exception to the rule, the biological freaks that buck the natural tendencies of their genes. The difficulties that exist the world over regarding relationships seem the same, and every nationality seems to have the same relationship and divorce issues.

I believe that my genes just fast track that process so that I lose interest in by partner much faster than the norm.

If you listen to your friends and associates that are married or cohabiting it can paint a gloomy picture. I personally know of one couple that I would describe as successful. All of the rest spend there time moaning about their partners, their lack of sex, passion, emotion, support etc...... it seems that the best thing to do if you never want sex again is to get married!

I have yet to fathom why it is that I am wired up as I am. Sexually I am driven purely by conquest and little more.

The smell of wet pussy will drag me not only across the country, but across the world. This is I think quite normal, many men are driven by the same stimuli. What makes me stand out is that once I have found, fed and fucked the object of my affection I instantly look for an exit strategy. Why should it be that I am incapable of keeping a natural level of interest in women who are in themselves perfectly normal, healthy, charming, beautiful girls? Why is it that I am hard wired to be able to sleep with several different women in a day and yet the thought of sleeping with the same woman repeatedly during a single day fills me with doom?

At the end of the day pussy is pussy, a blow job is a blow job...... well within reason I suppose, a bad blow job is not nice.

I have always admired those men who are just happy to be getting some and as such give it everything that they have. There have been times when I have wanted to be one of them. I would at certain times in my life have traded with them for the simplicity that it gives them.

The method of my exit strategy has varied over the years, but more of that later.

I had assumed for many years that I was the only man to think like this, to be seemingly incapable of maintaining a relationship for any duration exceeding a week.
In fact with the passing years my attention span has become shorter rather than longer as I had once hoped. I have in the past had relationships that lasted 3 years, 2 years and 18 months as well as many that survived my shortcomings for several months before my lack of interest finally took over.

Why should it be that some men can keep their level of interest sustained indefinately while others such as myself see women purely in terms of something new to fuck. I have travelled the country, indeed the world chasing fresh pussy....... should I be proud? Should I hang my head? Or should I share my experiences with the world in the hope of bringing a little enlightenment to others?

There have been times when I would have loved to have settled down with the girl I was with...... it can't be the case that every girl I have ever slept with was unsuitable can it? Yet as soon as the girl is available to me my interest wanes like mental brewers droop...... I have often wondered the reason for this, and can only assume that it is the consequence of some of the experiences I have endured over the years.

Having said that if that is indeed the way that the subconscious works then we are truly fucked.