It has been nights such as the Boston Strangler incident that have led me to develop my extensive dating philosophy. The basic premise is to extract as much fun from dating as possible with as little agro, hassle, or grief.... which ultimately means keeping women out of the way as much as possible! The only reason I say this is that while girls may well be the cause of much of the pleasure in a mans life, they are simultaneously responsible for 99% of the grief.

I spent a few years operating a bespoke dating system that I devised myself after years of dutiful study. This system was the "Four Date Rule", a stroke of genius on my part and very successful too I might add. It has over time been adopted by colleagues eager to benefit from its powers.

The basic principles are as follows;

1/ You are only going to date person "x" for four dates. Not three, not five, but four.

2/Because of this you will subconsciously put in far more effort to maximise not only your enjoyment but that of "x" too..... you see, not so selfish after all!!

3/ Date one, is happening because you want to shag "x" and so far you haven't.

4/ Date two, is so that having got the first date out of the way, you can actually fuck her properly, cross all the "t"s, dot all the "i"s make the earth move, give her a night to remember you for, etc etc

5/ Date three, is to find out where her line in the sand is? I believe that everyone has a line in the sand that they will not cross.... but at the same time they also have a price for which they will do anything. Not necessarily a financial price, but a price, a reward, a feeling, an emotion, call it what you will........ virtually everyone will reach a point at some time when you are asking them to cross their line in the sand...... it can be boringly close, for example girls who think they are too good to give blow jobs...... or it can be frighteningly distant such as the occasion when I found myself in the role of dungeon master... in a real dungeon with one of the dirtiest girls I have ever had the pleasure of fucking when there we were, her fully bondaged up, trussed, tied, gagged and whipped, there's me fucking her up the arse.... whilst fucking her with a peeled cucumber at the same time...... now, I was starting to think that this girls line in the sand had been washed clean away when I found it........ I was all for adding the cucumber to the salad we were having with dinner...... and she freaked..... it never fails to surprise me where the line will appear, but........ it is always there!

6/ Date 4, is to double check that you have no desire or need for a 5th date. Now this can get tricky for lots of men who have tried this dating system, they think that they have had such a good time they will carry on...... but that is as you can imagine an error. The only reason that they had four great dates is because they knew it was only temporary. Indeed all relationships are just that, temporary.... sooner or later one or the other of you will die, get sick of the site of the other, run off with your cousins' sisters' dog walker... or whatever, so all you are doing with the system is condensing a long often boring, dull, nag filled shopfest relationship with an abridged highlights version.......... genius I am sure you will agree?

I used this very successfully for years until I was hoist by my own petard and consented to a fifth date........