tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2009-11-11:/The life and times of a single man making his way through a succession of shallow meaningless sex based relationships built on a tissue of lies.MokoFeed2009-11-11T17:32:09+01:00tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-05-24:/2008/05/24/maybe-drops-by-4215520/singleman2008-05-24T11:32:28+02:002008-05-24T11:32:28+02:00 <p>There I was, minding my own business, sat outside the local reading the paper, beer in hand, just catching the last few rays of warmth from the sun when a car honks..... I look up and it's "Maybe" parking opposite, big grin on her face.....</p> <p>She had just been "Driving past".... yeah ok then........ I got her a drink and we chatted for a bit.... about nothing mostly, then I suggested a takeaway curry at mine...... she leapt at the chance so off we trotted to the curry house.</p> <p>Back at mine we didn't really get round to eating the curry...... she was insatiatiable...... what i like to call a "hungry whore" .... the state whereby a girl just wants cock and nothing is gonna stop her!</p> <p>This has always presented me with issues... on the one hand, tittilating a girl to that point is a good thing..... and is to be incouraged, but on the other hand no man likes a cock hungry manic crazy girl for long.... we like girls to be a bit more refined... well I do anyway!</p> <p>"Maybe" was "Presenting" (I believe that is the correct term?) like a man in the desert finding water...... it's a bit like scoring in front of an open goal.... if you just shot the goalie with a gun... in the back as he ran away...... it wasn't the conquering feeling that men like to have...... I like to be the first man on the moon, not just one of millions on a day trip.... we like to feel that we have gained access to something special.... valued, reserved for a chosen few........ or is that just me?</p> <p>Suffice to say it took the edge off my shagathon.... though she still got it good........ obviously!</p> <p>It was more fun when she was a proper "Maybe" and needed effort to fuck..... now she is a sure thing I am bored...... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/05/24/maybe-drops-by-4215520/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-05-19:/2008/05/19/different-day-same-old-bastard-4194805/singleman2008-05-19T18:12:42+02:002008-05-19T18:12:42+02:00 <p>So off I went on Saturday morning on a mates stag do....... 18 holes of golf in the morning, 18 in the afternoon, beers, dinner and strippers to follow. All very straight forward and nothing to get unduely fucked up over.</p> <p>Golf was ok, dinner average then we got to the bit I am good at, the drinking and wenching. We ended up in a lapdancing bar...... now I have always thought that these places were rather pointless, and struggle to understand why anyone would pay £25 for a three minute dance to watch a pretty girl flashing her pussy at you when you can have half an hour of happy time with a hooker for not a lot more. Well ok, these days you are looking at £100+ but still, you can be up to your nuts in guts or stood in an overpriced bar with loads of other men who all have hardons like you and nothing to do with them! </p> <p>Long story short I ended up listening to "The Governor" and enlisting the services of professionals. Now ok I do feel bad, but it opened my eyes to the reality of my current situation. Whilst Girlfriend is a great girl, perhaps I am not destined for manogamy? Perhaps being a promiscuous shagger is my role in life?</p> <p>Next step is to set Girlfriend free..... although, a spell on the subs bench might not be a bad play to make.... she is after all a great shag and has been up for most of my deviant practices!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/05/19/different-day-same-old-bastard-4194805/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-05-13:/2008/05/13/just-like-real-people-4168673/singleman2008-05-13T16:35:36+02:002008-05-13T16:35:36+02:00 <p>Long story short...... I was supposed to be seeing girlfriend last night.... had dinner and a movie all planned... then walked into an open window which resulted in lots of blood and gore everywhere! I soon realised that ignoring the gaping wound in my head was a little foolhardy so rang girlfriend to cancel proceedings so I could pop myself off to casualty and get sewn up.</p> <p>Girlfriend wouldn't take no for an answer when I turned down her offer of a lift to the hospital....... so I sat around leaking blood for 15 minutes until she arrived to do her Florence Nightingale bit!</p> <p>I am used to taking care of myself so was more than happy to drive myself one handed the 15 miles to the casualty department, but actually felt strangely warm and fuzzy being looked after for a change.</p> <p>Needless to say if you spend 2 hours in a hospital waiting room which was full of manky people with a variety of ailments and the mandatory drunken twat causing chaos then get some club handed foreign nurse glueing your hair to your head with superglue, it can take the shine off your romantic evening.....</p> <p>I got Girlfriend to drop me home so I could chill out a bit, grab a shower (though I can't get my head wet for 5 days!), a bit to eat and a cold beer or two! </p> <p>As my headache started to subside I drifted off to sleep..... liking the whole being looked after thing...... as a sign of commitment I am going to buy her a box of teabags!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/05/13/just-like-real-people-4168673/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-05-11:/2008/05/11/where-do-i-start-4161218/singleman2008-05-11T21:25:14+02:002008-05-11T21:25:14+02:00 <p>The strangest thing has happened to me since I have been back from France. It would appear that I might actually have fallen for someone.... a bit! I know ..... how likely is that..... I thought I had out grown all that kind of unpleasantness, but there I was minding my own business when up she pops...... quite bizarre really.</p> <p>So the situation is that I am currently seeing this girl, she is nothing like the normal "type" that I go for either..... but she has something that works........</p> <p>We have been seeing each other for a couple of weeks .... which explains my recent blogging silence.... didn't really know what to think..... it's unchartered territory for me!</p> <p>It seems that my house is steadily gaining stuff too.... toothbrush, then toothpaste... then after leaving a pair of shoes... to which I commented that it might be too early for leaving them... she proceeded to take one of them away the next day..... so I now have one shoe.... a tee shirt (for sleeping in apparently.... my nudity in bed rule has been dismissed as unworkable!) a pillow case..... don't ask..... there was a reason I'm sure........ today pots of crap seem to be multiplying in the bathroom...... what they are all for stumps me, "strawberry foot balm"...... ?? Ignorance is bliss I think!</p> <p>So to summarise, it is a strange sensation to wake up next to someone who you like, rather than someone who you like to fuck.........<br> ..... strange, but quite pleasant. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/05/11/where-do-i-start-4161218/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-04-15:/2008/04/15/southern-france-part-three-4046458/singleman2008-04-15T09:21:22+02:002008-04-15T17:09:53+02:00 <p>Sorry, battery crashed and its taken days to find a replacement.</p> <p>So where was I?? Oh yes, there I was kneeling behind "Winker" who was on all fours, her soaking wet pussy inviting me in...... I looked around as I felt a hand sliding around my waist..... "How Much" ran her hand inside my boxers and over my now aching cock....... I turned to kiss her while still finger fucking "Winker".... I ran my left hand from "how Much's" neck down across her stomach until I reached her sodden almost dripping pussy.... she quivered as I stroked her clit and gasped. She was cupping my balls as I slid my rock hard cock inside "Winker" who by now had pussy juices running down her inner thighs..... pushing deep inside her, one hand on her hip, the other inside "How much's" equally wet pussy.... I briefly stopped kissing "How much" and looked at the others.... who had clearly embraced the situation and were getting on with some serious girl on girl loving......</p> <p>The sight of "Me now" licking "Too Happys" pussy was too much for me to take... I exploded inside "Winker" just moments before she too came.... and what a mighty orgasm she had too.... pussy juice everywhere! I looked around, still inside "winker" and "How Much"....... the only girl not really involved was "I've got" who still had her knickers on and was just watching and smiling...... I beckoned her over as my now flacid cock fell out of "Winker"....... she stood from the sofa and come over to where we were by the coffee table...... I took her hand and she knelt in front of me beside "How Much"...... "Winker" had turned around and lent against the sofa.... lighting a marlboro and drawing on it deeply..... the only cigarettes I still miss are the post coital ones.</p> <p>"How Much" was eager to get herself satisfied and started caressing my cock back into life again....... as I stroked "I've gots" pussy through the tight cotton of her g string "How much" lay in front of me so she could suck me back into action..... and what a job she did...... there is something fantastic about having a beautiful naked girl with a soaking wet pussy sucking your cock and taking your balls gently in her mouth whilst you are fingering another beautiful girl who has a wet gaping pussy aching to be filled with your cock........ sometimes life just couldn't get any better.....</p> <p>I eased "I've gots" g string down and carried on caressing her tight wet hole....... I had a hard on once more and was keen to get inside "How Much"..... she lay on her back in front of me, her knees pulled to her chest...... her wet.... hungry pussy in front of me...... I lent forward and entered her, holding her by the back of the knees so I could watch my cock sliding inside her..... she moaned and sank her nails into my arse cheek...."I've got" knelt beside me, kissing my neck..... I was to ingrossed with "How much" to involve her any more at that moment, but the sight of her stroking her pussy as she watched us fuck just turned me on more and more....</p> <p>At the moment Rupes stuck his head round the door and laughed... calling me a fucker..... which I suppose I was! He came straight in and went over to "Me now" and "Too Happy" who were still engrossed with each other. I called over asking how he had gotten on with "10"........ she is actually a "7" was his reply as he dropped his shorts and rubbed his cock against "me nows" pussy which was stuck up in the air... just asking to be filled with cock..... she didn't even look round, but carried on licking "Too Happys" pussy which was clearly ready to burst judging by the moans and groans coming from her.</p> <p>I was still stroking "I've gots" aching hole, she kept quivering whilst she waited her turn. She had the best body shape of them all, a beautiful flat stomach..... I think I mentioned that I liked that!...... She had not an ounce of fat on her, but was still the perfect shape..... with beautiful olive skin and large, firm tits. As I stroked her nipples I got her to kneel over "How much's" face.... this truly did it for me..... fucking a girl who is licking the pussy of the girl you are kissing....... it's always gonna work! I came again inside How Much as she clenched her pussy around my throbbing cock...... </p> <p>I lay back against the sofa..... part of me wishing that I still smoked.......the smell of wet pussy and spunk filled the room....... rupes shot his load at that point inside "Me now", just as "Too Happy" let rip with a mighty orgasm.... now that takes some doing!</p> <p>Naked "just fucked" girls seemed to be scattered everywhere the only one missing was "10" who by now was a "7" and was fast asleep having (according to Rupes) also slept through sex! Or at very least not joined in as you would hope she might!</p> <p>"I've got" opened another bottle of poo and poured us all fresh glasses..... this had been quite a get to know you evening...... I knew we were going to have a great week together......</p> <p>I picked up two glasses in one hand, mine and "I've gots", grabbed her hand and led her back to my cabin leaving rupes to fill his boots........ </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/04/15/southern-france-part-three-4046458/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-04-11:/2008/04/11/southern-france-part-two-4028843/singleman2008-04-11T09:22:42+02:002008-04-11T09:22:42+02:00 <p>Its taken all week to catch up with my inbox, hence the delay in blogging. </p> <p>Like I said, what a grest week I had.... my task was to look after "10"s 5 ladies in waiting. As we sat on the first night having a few beers and getting to know each other I made my initial judgement on the 5. </p> <p>First came "Me now" who you could be was an only child. At any pause in the conversation she would say "me now" or words to that effect.... very needy, very spoilt, very long legs combined with a very short skirt....</p> <p>next was "Too Happy" who seemed falsely happy.... I expected to see her curled up in the corner crying later!</p> <p>my favourite was "Winker" who as her name implies followed every comment she made with a dirty wink..... although her comments were easy enough to understand without the wink on the end. She was more normal than the others, less tanned, but it was real, smaller tits but they too were real, nice relaxed confident smile, skirt that reached her knees.... I liked her confidence especially amongst the girls she hung around with. The others were trying to be noticed, but winker didn't seem bothered if she was seen or not.</p> <p>"I've Got" as her name implies started ever sentence with "I've Got..." I chuckled to myself at the thought of her later in the week saying... " OH.... I've got ....... your cock up my arse!"</p> <p>"How Much" liked to tell you how much everything was... nice shoes.... thanks they were £300..... very tedious after a while..... I couldn't help but think of all those piss take credit card ads.... flights £400, boat £10,000, bar bill £5,000, cumming all over a posh birds expensive shoes.... priceless!</p> <p>It is important in these situations to not set your sights on one particular girl...... the reasons for this are several..... firstly the others will notice and even if they aren't particularly bothered they will still get the hump as they weren't picked. Secondly, you want to keep your options open for as long as possible and maximise your potential opportunities.</p> <p>I was sat there in a great position, surrounded by 5 beautiful girls, admittedly I would gladly shut three of them up...... but thats what blow jobs are for..... one was seemingly hanging on to her sanity by a fingernail...... and the other had what I was beginning to think was more of a nervous twitch than an actual winking issue!...... </p> <p>By now Rupes was giving "10" a guided tour of the boat, I can only imagine his tour..... this is the front, this is the back, this is the bridge.... this is the master suite... this is my cock......!</p> <p>This left me surrounded and in has to be said in the mood for more than just a one on one fuck and fumble....... I broke out the champagne and set about seeing how naked I could get 5 girls....</p> <p>The answer was very naked.... just keep adding more champagne! We soon started playing strip spin the bottle..... now the only reason for this was a masterstroke on my part...... as the first bottle was emptied, "me now" said lets play spin the bottle, to which "too happy" asked how you played it....... all 5 of them collectively rubbed their heads and had no idea, and since I couldn't really remember either I set about inventing the rules to suit me. If the bottle points at you you have to remove an item of clothing....... this initially had "how much" run to her room to get more clothes.... until I specified an 8 item start point..... what a game, I figured with 5 against one I couldn't lose.... and if I did i still won!! I love semi naked girls.... they nearly always look better than when they are fully naked.....the anticipation is often much sexier than the reality.... however, if you take girls like these who in the main have had everything manicured, polished, sculpted, sucked, remodelled and enhanced then it is a tough call to say that. Within 15 minutes I had got "me now" and "I've Got" down to their knickers, "Winker" still had her bra and skirt on, "Too Happy" had removed her shoes, and "How much" had just spun the bottle three times, hitting herself again each time.... and then said it was rigged!!! Unbelievable! This left her demanding a dogs life so she didn't have to be the first to lose her knickers...... we all took pity on her.... although by now I had a raging hard on and was aching to see some pussy!<br> I had lost my watch, shoes, and a socks and shirt by this point, when the bottle landed back at me again..... I removed my jeans and gave the girls something to look at.... lets face it, it's impossible to hide & in these circumstances.... a positive disadvantage to do so!<br> I spun the bottle and it landed back on "How much" again! She protested a bit, and looked very sheepishly at me.... the others were shouting "Off" "Off" like a pack of hounds..... but I thought it would be ungentlemanly of me to join in.........I suggested she flash some pussy instead of removing them completely...... she agreed, but flashed us so quickly that we demanded a better look...well i did anyway!..... I got her to kneel on all fours and pull her knickers down so we could see her pussy properly...... she did...... once she had, there was little point to her pulling her knickers back on so I chivelrously helped her out of them. My cock was straining at the buttons on my boxers .... I have often wondered at what point it is acceptable to start wanking without coming across as a perv???? (answers on a postcard please!) The next to lose a spin was "winker" who I really wanted to see naked.... more so than the others.... and yet she was the plainer of them all. She removed her bra revealing a beautiful pair of pert firm tits....... yum bloody yum! Next came "Me now" who discarded her bra with too much enthusiasm..... glad we were looking at her I think! Then she spun the bottle and hit herself.... Knickers off....... and credit where credit is due.... what a great looking pussy...... perfectly symetrical as a pussy should be.... her surgeon must have been very pleased..... I know I was! "winker" lost again and looked at me reluctant to lose her knickers.... I knelt in front of her as she mock protested and asked if she couldn't just flash me instead...... I said ok .... well you would wouldn't you?? She knelt on all fours and I peeled her knickers off her bum and down. She had a fantastic bum, and a neat little pussy that I could only imagine was a tight as it looked..... I ran my hands over her arse and across her now wet pussy, sliding a finger inside her warm tight hole I briefly forgot that the others were still there....... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/04/11/southern-france-part-two-4028843/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-04-06:/2008/04/06/southern-france-4004498/singleman2008-04-06T20:11:20+02:002008-04-06T20:11:20+02:00 <p>Where to start.....</p> <p>I have just had a great week.... not as good as my best night ever...... but still up there for fun times. I have this mate..... great bloke, I'll call him Rupert as he is a bit of a toff and it suits...... he works... or should that be.. he plays in the city, buying and selling bits of paper... don't ask any more than that as I don't understand, but suffice to say he is fairly well minted......</p> <p>He has always done well when we have been out trapping together and I think sees me as a lucky charm. This suits me fine as I get to feed from his table on some fine fare that is usually not interested in my game.... and let me tell you, his cast offs are seriously hot.... not without their issues granted... but all proper fit girls.</p> <p>This is a once or twice yearly fuckfest to end all fuckfests for me, I get to console the poor girls who don't make the final cut but don't wanna go home either... they seem to queue up!</p> <p>We spent the week on his boat.... I say his boat.... he hires it by the week when we go down there.... his theory is if it flys, floats or fucks rent it! </p> <p>I don't know much about boats except that it sleeps 12, 14 at a push. It has everything you could wish for including waterbeds....... very weird in choppy water.... several trips ago we took a jaunt to Corfu and got caught in a bit of a storm.... there was girl sick everywhere! Rupes and I sat in the bar drinking through it.... worked a treat!</p> <p> This time we stayed parked up and used it as a floating gin palace and fuck parlour...... </p> <p>Rupes seems to have a phone full of girls numbers.... proper girls, not just renters. I have no idea where he gets these numbers from though, he never seems to chat to anyone he doesn't already know... the whole thing is a bit of a mystery ... I think he must have a fixer who make the introductions for him as he is quite cagey about it.</p> <p>The night we arrived, we got to the boat at about 7, I was expecting a bit of dinner, a few beers, but was instead met by 6 of the best looking girls I had seen in a good few weeks. It seemed that Rupes couldn't wait to get aquainted with "10" his quarry of choice. I call her "10" with good reason..... I would put money on the fact that she looked nothing like her school photos.... I would say she had had some modifications done to all the important bits... and it had all been put together by someone with an eye for the exquisite...... she is a fantastically good looking girl..... in every way.... hence the "10"..... I don't give them out willy nilly you know....!</p> <p>Anyway, Rupes had set his cap at "10" which left me to entertain her 5 holiday buddies...... it's a tough job, but someones got to do it!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/04/06/southern-france-4004498/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-04-05:/2008/04/05/i-ve-been-away-4000660/singleman2008-04-05T22:05:04+02:002008-04-05T22:05:04+02:00 <p>I have just got back from a great, and unexpected week in the south of France. A good mate of mine was chasing a bit of skirt down there and needed a wingman...... so off I went..... lousy with languages, but great at wingmanning! I have spent the week up to my nuts in guts.... and without having to enter into any chit chat!! double bonus!!</p> <p>I'm going out drinking, will fill you in on the gory details over the next few days.... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/04/05/i-ve-been-away-4000660/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-03-28:/2008/03/28/unexpected-bootie-call-3956329/singleman2008-03-28T10:16:49+01:002008-03-28T10:16:49+01:00 <p>Sat at my desk last night, glass of wine in hand, just finishing of some work emails that were overdue, perfect timing as My name is Earl was about to start when the phone rang........ it was an occasional fb of mine who i hadn't heard from for ages... I shall call her "Baby Oil" as she never seems to leave home without a bottle in her bag! </p> <p>She was in a taxi on the way back from a work dinner she had been coerced into, sharing a taxi with a work colleague.... can they pop in for drinks? Hell yes was my instant answer....</p> <p>Five minutes later there she stood... slightly tipsy..... big grin... open arms..... looking very yum yum.... but then that is often the case with me! Brief description..... short but tiny too so in proportion.... flat stomach...(are you noticing a pattern forming?) long dark brown hair, sort of blueish green eyes, straight teeth, small earlobes, pierced tongue, no tattoos, and best of all.... openminded!</p> <p>Her mate, I shall call her "Ok then" as those were the words most spoken by her all night was just the right amount of shy, not wall flower, but not in your face lad.... just assured but in strange surroundings. Taller than "Baby Oil" about 5' 5" so no giant..... pretty, great smile... dirty laugh... slim, disproportionately big tits.... note to self... look for signs of modification if the opportunity presents itself! I have a well stocked wine cellar for nights just like this... so I started pulling corks as the three of us sat down....</p> <p>....I am one of those people who always expects the best to occur, so if two slightly sozzled scantily clad girls arrive wanting in their words "a good time" I instantly think green light for a three way..... what other conclusion could you draw??</p> <p>As "Ok then" sat down her all too short skirt revealed her stocking tops..... now I have always thought that girls do this on purpose to feel power over men?? I works.... if I was a girl I would flash "innocent" glimpses of underwear whereever I could...... by the time I had opened the second bottle and the girls had shifted seating position several times I knew that "Ok then" had lacy pink knickers on, with a matching camisole top type of thing..... and hold up stockings.... "Baby Oil" either had the smallest g string in the world or no knickers at all... which would be nothing unusual for her, even in a skirt that short...... oh.... and a had a stonking hard on!</p> <p>I soon decided that my best course of action was to be upfront and see what their reaction was...... however we didn't get that far... "Baby Oil" went to get some nibbles and shouted that she couldn't reach. By the time I had got there she was stood on a chair, on tiptoe trying to reach on top of a cupboard.... as I stood in front of her sweet ass I answered my own earlier question.... tiny g string.... very sexy...... as she turned round I did what any man in the same situation would, running my hands up her thighs I looped my index fingers in either side of her g string and pulled it down..... she stepped out of it smiling, bashed me on the head with with a big bag of Kettle chips and wiggled back to the sittingroom.... I followed with her string looped over my finger.</p> <p>As I walked back into the room...."Ok then" looked at me smiling.... and said... I suppose you want mine too? ........ hell yes....... what a fantastic night I had...... two horny girls taking turns to fuck me fluff me, suck me, fuck me and fluff me again......</p> <p>Their taxi picked them up about an hour ago.... I am sat here in my dressing gown, coffee in hand.... big smile.... feeling proper fucked...... I now need to recover in time for Lucy later.......</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/03/28/unexpected-bootie-call-3956329/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-03-27:/2008/03/27/how-weird-are-people-3952505/singleman2008-03-27T20:30:36+01:002008-03-27T20:30:36+01:00 <p>Maybe seems to be in a near permanent state of froth these days.... since I rebuffed her "love you" comment she has taken on a new vigour and is now one of the horniest women on earth .... with a 24hr "wide on" (girl version of a hard on!)</p> <p>To be totally frank... this wasn't the reaction I was expecting.... it fact... as the words tumbled out of my mouth I thought as you would that no good would come of it..... how wrong can you be?</p> <p>On a slightly darker note the gradual demotion of Lucy is on track..... no stalking for several days to the best of my knowledge, which is a step in the right direction. I should have been seeing her last night but bounced her instead for a curry with some mates.... am now seeing her on Friday...... ..... apparently I will have to make it up to her ??? ok then..... </p> <p>Would still really love to fuck her up the arse... do you think that would fit under that umbrella?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/03/27/how-weird-are-people-3952505/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-03-21:/2008/03/21/just-had-a-bizarre-row-with-maybe-3914677/singleman2008-03-21T14:33:57+01:002008-03-21T14:33:57+01:00 <p>..... a crazy morning and no mistake..... "Maybe" has a habit of becoming a bit clingy when she has a froth on.... and at the moment she most definately has a huge froth on! She was out on her own shopping earlier, so called and popped over for coffee....... now under normal circumstances that is on my list of things to avoid.... after all, a hetrosexual male only has married women round to his place dso he can shag them.... there is no other reason...... especially if "said married woman" wants a chat and a coffee.... there is nothing any good ever going to immerge from such an incounter. It is to my mind akin to going to a lap dancing bar..... what is the point, when for the same money you can get up to your nuts in guts...... to put it poetically!</p> <p>So "Maybe" chatted as she does.... I ummed and arred in the right places so as to keep the froth a frothin you understand.... we drank our coffee and she stood to go...... and then it happened....</p> <p>Why would a married woman..... who I am well aware would never leave her Husband.... and wouldn't want her to..... tell me that she loved me???? What the fuck is the point of that?..... what does it achieve? </p> <p>My response was not as smooth as it could be...... I ummed and erred for a second or two..... and then said "thank you"...... well I know it's wrong, but what am I supposed to say? She hit me..... and went a bit loopy......asking me if I loved her........ so I backed up my "thank you" .... with..... "I love fucking you...... will that do you?".... apparently it wouldn't!!</p> <p>There was no placating the girl..... her poor ignorant husband is in for a shit weekend and he'll have no idea what he's done wrong!</p> <p>Whether I have removed the froth remains to be seen....... she is prone to hissy fits on occasion so not seeing her for a few weeks is a frequent event. That's the great thing about shagging married women..... it is only for short periods of time at once.... so they have all the convenience of a hooker without the fiscal outlay! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/03/21/just-had-a-bizarre-row-with-maybe-3914677/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-03-20:/2008/03/20/mental-lucy-3911392/singleman2008-03-20T20:14:59+01:002008-03-20T20:14:59+01:00 <p>It is truly bizarre how different a girl can be when she is with you than when she is hunting for bunnies to boil in your absence!</p> <p>I had a suprisingly good night with her last night..... just to discover where her line in the sand is you understand??</p> <p>It turns out that even if she wasn't a mentalist she would still be downgraded in the near future ........ cos she wouldn't let me fuck her up the arse...... I mean..... how does she expect to hang onto a man in these modern times if she limits herself in such a way?</p> <p>Although it does clarify my downgrade decision.... if she had invited her sister or mum to join us for a three way I would have been sat here on the horns of a prickly dilemma.......... mental or not..... a family three way is a family three way....... still I digress, it wasn't on the cards!</p> <p>I put the foundations of my dismount into play midway through the evening....... girls I'm sure you have had this said to you at some point, and if not you will do at some point?</p> <p>I waited for the manditory 10 seconds of silence that it needs for a girl to ask whats wrong.. and said that I had had a call from my ex earlier..... and she had wound me up blah, blah, blah....... wish she didn't but she knows how to get to me etc etc........ nothing too much, but sowed the seed of doubt in the nutcases barely lucid mind.</p> <p>According to the rules of the four date philosophy I am morally obliged to have another date with her.... "to establish that I don't want a fifth date" so that will be my opportunity to feed her a bit more..... but not enough so I don't get laid obviously!...... then a phone call about how unfair it is on her cos I am so messed up by the ex and can we calm things down a bit until I get rid of the ex etc etc..... and hey presto.......bish....bash......bosh....... a home made (slightly unbalanced) fuck buddie!!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/03/20/mental-lucy-3911392/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-03-18:/2008/03/18/boiling-bunnies-3902457/singleman2008-03-18T23:03:46+01:002008-03-18T23:03:46+01:00 <p>What the flying fuck is it that goes through a girls mind once she has had some good sex?????</p> <p>Un... be.... fucking.... leavable.............</p> <p>How can it be that a perfectly normal, lucid, in control girl can turn into a freak show in the space of 24 hours? I am gobsmacked at the transformation..... although I have left the door open...... now she is firmly on the back foot the odds of me triple crowning her tomorrow night are significantly improved.... even if I get the feeling that I am sticking my dick in a mincer!</p> <p>She has spent the last two days texting, ringing, popping in "cos she was passing".... etc.... if I didn't reply within tolerance she would get even more mental......... why oh why oh why are girls .... such fucking nutters???????</p> <p>lol..... at times it can be charming, but when you are flat out building a company it is necessary to get your head down and work.... I have been in meetings all day and have been badgered senseless in between...... like I said.. unbelievable.</p> <p>Who thought it was a good idea to attach something as fantastic as a pussy to something as mental as a girl??</p> <p>Still I'm gonna get my well earned revenge tomorrow night.... hehehe!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/03/18/boiling-bunnies-3902457/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-03-18:/2008/03/18/the-lovely-lucy-gets-clingy-3897800/singleman2008-03-18T01:00:22+01:002008-03-18T01:00:22+01:00 <p>It had to happen I suppose..... just when it was bumbling along nicely.... she went and got keen...... this is what happens when you go dishing out multiple orgasms like smarties!!</p> <p>She has been badgering me all day when I have been flat out trying to get some work done.... so ok I might be a little short tempered due to the current work load, but still ....... girls..... if you don't get a reply to your text instantly it isn't because we couldn't care less (incidentally we could care a whole lot less.... but that's usually when we fuck your mum or you best mate!) it's because a/. we are busy doing something and need to focus on it without distraction, b/. it isn't convenient as we are with people and it's impolite to converse via the text message whilst in the company of others or, c/. we just want some peace and quiet away from your incessant ramblings. </p> <p>You can have too much of a good thing it seems.... still I only have a couple of dates to go...... so its time to prepare a suitable dismount. I don't like the male staple relationship ender of simply not calling or answering the phone for a while.... whilst still using it on occasion, it does lack.... what the americans call closure and I would hate to think that I left a girl even more mentally scarred than she was when I got there!!</p> <p>I will use tried and tested dismount number 3......... and attempt the tricky task of demoting current girlfriend in waiting to fuck buddy.... without her noticing........ a rare but not impossible feat!</p> <p>To return to my football analogy, it can be tricky when you drop a first team player to the bench with the intention of giving them a run out in the second half as and when you need a result..... sometimes they transfer to another club where they can get a game every Saturday!! </p> <p>I am seeing Lucy on Wednesday..... her line in the sand had better be a long way away...... she needs to recover some house points with some seriously filthy monkey lovin!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/03/18/the-lovely-lucy-gets-clingy-3897800/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-03-16:/2008/03/16/the-lovely-lucy-date-3891287/singleman2008-03-16T23:36:17+01:002008-03-16T23:36:17+01:00 <p>I picked her up..... being the gent I am and we went for dinner at a nice little relaxed eatery I often frequent. It is always good to take girls places where you are known.... it looks good! Apart from that, the food is great and the atmosphere warm and cosy..... perfect on a wet and windy march night.</p> <p>Lucy looked fantastic, jeans and boots, black knee high...... spikey heels..... very dominatrix! and despite the cold wet weather.... a little bare midriff again... it's as if she can read my mind.... either that or she just plays her strengths?</p> <p>We just about made it through or mains before the under the table fondling got the better of me..... whether she wanted dessert or coffee was never established..... I paid up and took her back to mine..... breaking the speed limit for the entire journey... which took some concentrating on with her head in my lap......</p> <p>What a night..... as I have mentioned, the purpose of this evening (within the four date rules) is to make sure that I gave Lucy the best fuck of her life...... this started in the restaurant...... and judging by the awesome blowjob I was getting on the way back to my place she was in the mood just as much as I was!</p> <p>You know how sometimes you feel totally at one with someone, and completely in tune with your own body? You can almost feel the imprint that you are making in the chair you are sat on, you feel intensely alive and connected to your body. Incredibly aware of every breath that you take, your chest rising and falling with each breath. It is as if you can feel your heart beating from outside of yourself, feel the blood pumping round your body, making your skin incredibly sensitive with each breath you take. Your breathing getting deeper as your heart beats faster and faster with each passing moment.... as you enjoy the moments that you are with that person..... becoming more and more in tune with your own being and wanting the warm feelings that are rushing through your body to continue forever..... the warm feelings as your heart pumps harder and harder and you feel yourself getting swept away by the emotional experience of being with that person....</p> <p>.... I bet it was like that for her!</p> <p>Like many men, I do struggle to stay awake after sex... I am all for secnds, thirds and more, but I do need a little break to regroup and gather myself..... now not many girls realise that.... it seems to me that the greatest incompatibility in nature is between girls and boys who have just had orgasms...... girls wake up and become tickly, fidgety, strokey and talkative....... whereas men go to sleep to regain there strength.... if they can despite the tickling, fidgety..... commotion going on around them.......</p> <p>I can report that Lucy is a lot less fidgety than most.... yet another box ticked!!</p> <p>Due to my unexpected bj in the car I was restricted to just the one encore before I was proper fucked....... thankfully it seems that Lucy considered herself to be proper fucked too which was convenient! </p> <p>Perhaps some girls could tell me a thing?? Why do some girls.... who clearly have an active sex life..... still have lovely tight pussies.... and yet some others with out kids I might add are ..... shall we say.... bigger! Take "Maybe" as an example.... two kids and yet she has the tightest pussy you could imagine..... is it down to pelvic floor exercises? Or just hitting the gym on a regular basis? Anyway... Lucy is to be commended for keeping hers in excellent fettle..... its as tight as most girls arses!! Incidentally, I have a theory about the rise in popularity of anal sex..... but I will save that for another day.....</p> <p>Roll on date 5..... we get to find out where Lucys line in the sand is?????</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/03/16/the-lovely-lucy-date-3891287/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-03-13:/2008/03/13/would-i-like-someone-doing-that-to-me-3873939/singleman2008-03-13T23:34:30+01:002008-03-14T22:00:24+01:00 <p>Interesting question........ the only answer is that being practical.... it happens to everyone...... everyone fucks about at some time, whether we kid ourselves that they don't or not is a matter for individuals.</p> <p>It is a fact in the country that 1 in every 10 children is being raised by a "Dad" who isn't really their biological father, and they know nothing about it!!..... When Prince Harry was returning from the Gulf a week or so ago, the press asked Prince Charles if Harry would be proud to be met on the runway by his father.... Charles said "We're not letting that fucker come to the airport!!"</p> <p>It is a fact of life that girls and boys are untrustworthy S O B's and I personally believe that it is better to accept that fact and deal with it than to think that the world is some rose scented nirvana that it plainly is not!</p> <p>A better question to ask would be "Which is worse, to fuck someone coz you want to fuck someone (while in a relationship) or to have an affair and fall in love with someone while in a relationship?"</p> <p>Lets face it, a manic fuckfest is no threat to an LTR, but start tugging at the heart strings and you can book the kids therapy sessions there and then! </p> <p>Some might describe me as a cynic, but I am a practical realist...... we are just fleas on a dogs back..... none of it really matters a toss.... so eat, drink, dance and fuck..... for tomorrow we are truly fucked!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/03/13/would-i-like-someone-doing-that-to-me-3873939/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-03-13:/2008/03/13/delayed-report-on-the-lovely-lucy-date-3873463/singleman2008-03-13T21:38:51+01:002008-03-13T21:38:51+01:00 <p>Bish... Bash..... Bosh....... had a great night with the lovely Lucy last night..... twice..... and once again this morning!......</p> <p>We went for a few beers at our local early, then headed back to mine .... coz I had cooked dinner..... proper food too...... rack of lamb, mediteranean veg and herb roasted potatoes and though I say it myself it was one of my better efforts! I think I can safely say that Lucy and I are on the same wavelength.... which is a good thing..... I think....... she was as impressed as I needed her to be..... </p> <p>Boys are like puppies with things like cooking... we need lots of praise and the odd treat to make it worth while.... and I certainly got a treat!!</p> <p>Lucy has that rare ability of looking very good when she isn't trying.... I have always liked that in a girl, that they can still pull off "sexy" whilst covered in paint decorating.... yum yum!</p> <p>We started watching a DVD...(tip, always pick a crap DVD if you don't actually want the chap to watch it!)..... as it turns out it was some chick flick bollocks.... the holiday..... needless to say picked by Lucy.... and it worked a treat.... she was half naked before the credits had finished!!!</p> <p>All I can really say is.... OH MY GOD..... what a great fuck Lucy is..... it has been my experience that there is a depreciating curve of participation for girls ie; the fitter the girl the less she feels she needs to work hard to please the chap she's with.... cos she is fit. But less fit girls put in some effort and learn what feels good for a man and as a consequence become fantastic fucks.... and the really ropey ones..... well.... there is a saying, "you don't look at the fireplace while your stoking the fire"...... but I don't agree with that.....on the occasions that I have, I can't get it out of my mind that I'm nailing an uggo, and no amount of imagination can change that.</p> <p>Anyway, back to the plot..... you can imagine that supermodels and moviestars are probably the worst fucks on the planet.... in spite of their looks etc because I don't think they would subconsciously feel like they needed to try very hard. Look at Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. My guess she is a lousy fuck .... but you can tell that Angelina is a dirty fuck........ and that is what men want.</p> <p>Back to Lucy...... I love pretty girls that fuck like they mean it......<br> and she is and she does..... she sucks cock like it's a melting icecream and she doesn't want to waste any...... fan.. fucking ...tastic...... I had the best night I've had for a few years ....... she ticked so many boxes.......matching undies, small sexy too...... hollywood..... just the right amount of confident as well..... it is always disconcerting when you get a girl back to your place and she leaps on your cock like she's just been given water after a week in the desert..... it sends out the wrong signals.... for me at least.....</p> <p>So the plan is now firmly on track...... I'm seeing her Saturday and I intend to give her the fucking of her life...... now we have the initial satiating of our mutual lusting out of the way..... it is time to do the job right........</p> <p>Bizarrely I had an ex arrive unexpectedly for coffee this morning "Maybe" does this on occasion... I think she can smell happiness and needs to quash it from my life ...... long story short, my broadband was down all day so I couldn't work so I killed a couple of hours with "Maybe".... who incidentally should be renamed as all she ever says these days is yes!... so all in all an interesting 24 hours.... now I do feel dirty, but in a good way! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/03/13/delayed-report-on-the-lovely-lucy-date-3873463/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-03-10:/2008/03/10/the-lovely-lucy-3852720/singleman2008-03-10T23:49:40+01:002008-03-10T23:49:40+01:00 <p>I have just spent a great 45 minutes on the phone with the lovely Lucy. I was in the midst of playing it uber-cool (as you do) by not contacting her between our..... PG rated dates, when my mobile chirped into life......haha I thought..... absence truly does make the heart grow fonder! I have a theory that this whole love thing is actually something you do to yourself when the object of your affection is not near you. It is the process of thinking about the other person that causes you to "fall in love with them" or as I prefer to describe it " really really want to fuck their brains out!"</p> <p>Anyway it seems Lucy was starting to miss me..... and waiting until Wednesday.... the time of date no.3 was too much it seems?? Anyway, nice relaxed, cosy chat... no phone sex ...... what sort of chap do you take me for??...... I will make a bit of space for some quality "me" time later!</p> <p>It turns out that I might not be the complete retard that I think I am.... I might even go as far as to say I am getting on very well with Lucy..... but like I have already said.... I am looking at her through "rose tinted testicles"....... and a man will find all sorts of things fun and interesting with full bollocks that rapidly lose their allure with empty ones. As an old friend of mine is fond of saying.."an empty sack is a happy sack!"</p> <p>Long story short, I got the feeling that Lucy is as frustrated as I am..... so come Wednesday night she is gonna get her some boom boom..... either that or I am gonna explode!!</p> <p>Have I mentioned her midriff....... fuck..... she is fit!</p> <p>Gotta go.... "me" time is here........ </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/03/10/the-lovely-lucy-3852720/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-03-08:/2008/03/08/the-lovely-lucy-date-3837203/singleman2008-03-08T16:58:15+01:002008-03-08T16:58:15+01:00 <p>As I predicted..... I woke up alone this morning.... but.... that doesn't mean that I didn't have a great night..... I did. We went for drinks... I have a hang up about feeding girls that won't put out!!<br> I haven't had such a nice relaxing evening for a long time..... and yes it could be said at this stage the the lovely Lucy has a fan..... she does indeed, but it has to be said that I am unfortunately looking at her through "Rose tinted testicles" as I like to call them..... this happens when I am denied conjugals....... but.... I am aware that my interest levels will subside just as quickly as they rose just as soon as I have given her what I can only now really describe as a bloody good seeing to!</p> <p>They is no rational reason for this to happen, Lucy is properly lovely, good fun to be with..... even has a faint grasp of the offside rule..... which is a trait not to be sneezed at. I am at this stage hoping that something amazing happens to me between now and date 4 so I carry on fancying her...... cos she is..... fit. </p> <p>Bare midriff again last night.... thought I was going to have aneurysm at one point!...... She is the kind of girl that thinks all dicks are permanently hard, having never seen a soft one........ and its understandable..........</p> <p>.... damn I love girls............ </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/03/08/the-lovely-lucy-date-3837203/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-03-07:/2008/03/07/how-to-be-a-girlfriend-instead-of-a-fuck-3832001/singleman2008-03-07T19:06:39+01:002008-03-08T23:32:23+01:00 <p>As I am about to embark upon my second attempt at the summit now known as the lovely Lucy, and several of my readers have recently said in their blogs that they struggled to keep men , here is my take on my current situation and indeed theirs too!</p> <p>Girls that I have known have always fallen into two distinct piles.... those that fuck on a first date and those that don't. I am I believe fairly promiscuous but that said all of my relationships have been with girls that I didn't fuck on the first date. Three dates in the accepted industry standard, any more and you run the risk of losing the attention on your beau.</p> <p>The reasons for this are simple, all men to one extent or another want to be with someone who "had to be chased" it gives us a sense on achievment, that we have got something that other men can't have. If a girl fucks me on the first date then I know that she will fuck anyone on a first date.... and that will never sit well with a bloke..... how can he leave you alone for the weekend knowing that????</p> <p>Men are basically small children, we think that we know what is best for us, but giving us unlimited pussy is like giving a kid the keys to a sweetshop.... it'lll be fun for an hour, but then you will be sick to death of sweets.</p> <p>You need to keep a little back, always leave a man wanting more... that way he will come back for more....... don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean you should give him the wrong half of a blow job, then get dressed and go home..... hell no.... rule number 32: if you start a blow job, finish a blow job.... applies to men too. </p> <p>The biggest relationships in my life have all been with girls who for one reason or another have left me wanting more. Access all areas pussy is what men think they want, and it is what many women think men want, but its not actually the case. The old saying " give a wolf a taste" applies here...... men want certain qualities in a GF that they don't need in a fuck buddy, even though the sex might ultimately be the same.</p> <p>The most important thing is that if you act as though you respect yourself (ie don't chuck your ankles behind your ears the moment a guy smiles at you) then after a few dates he will respect you too.... and he will also have got to know you whilst you have been on your dates..... him thinking about when he will get to fuck you and you talking about god knows what.... I never listen.... too busy wondering when I'm getting the green light! </p> <p>Anyway, after a few dates he will start to feel pot committed (see previous posts) and so will slip into the role of BF. Incidentally you should only try this on fresh meat as you current FBs will just think you are a mentalist if you suddenly change the rules..... the most common reason for losing a FB I believe! The reason for this is simple, once bread has become toast you can't make it back into bread again..... it's toast. Start with fresh bread and go from there.</p> <p>I am now off to my second date with the lovely Lucy..... confident in the knowledge that I am going to be in a sex free environment for the second date running........ she might just be worth the wait though...... how I wish I could keep some interest in a girl after I have slept with them........ like I think I have said before, I had always hoped that it was something that I would grow out of, but instead it is becoming worse....... wouldn't it be great if the lovely Lucy changed all that??</p> <p>Good luck one and all </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/03/07/how-to-be-a-girlfriend-instead-of-a-fuck-3832001/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-03-05:/2008/03/05/the-lovely-lucy-date-3819294/singleman2008-03-05T10:35:24+01:002008-03-05T10:35:24+01:00 <p>I arrived at the pub promptly 5 minutes after 8....... the perfect time for a man to arrive on a date...... too early is to keen.... too late is rude...... but give a girl 5 minutes to start wondering if you are coming or not and it heightens their senses in some way... puts them on edge a little even.</p> <p>Lucy had been there about an inch already which in girl spritzer terms has got to be about 10 or 15 minutes.... good sign!</p> <p>She had clearly gone to lots of effort to look good... she looks good when she's working, but tonight she was extra polished....extra yum yum.</p> <p>I got a drink, offered her another... obviously... and sat down..... it was nice to have her undivided attention as before I had had to share her with everyone in the pub..... I had booked a table at a little bistro just up the road so we finished our drinks and headed off.</p> <p>Some girls are easy to talk to, others hard work, and a very few feel like you have known them for years..... Lucy falls into the latter category, the night went very well..... </p> <p>Sometimes you get the feeling that people are agreeing with you just so that you like them...... and you can sense that they are not being their natural selves. Lucy was great company, relaxed, charming, funny, and totally herself... I got the feeling that this was just her, no pretentions, no games..... it's been a while since i had been on a date with someone this "normal" and it was refreshing.....</p> <p>I also got the feeling as we sat laughing and joking over coffee that this was going to become more than a 4 dater......... </p> <p>At this point I was prepared to bet a significant sum that I was not going to get my card stamped that night....... there is an exponential scale of likelihood for sex..... the more fun and the better she perceives that you got on and the better your prospects as future BF material..... the less likely you are to get laid..... unfair as it may be.... it has been my observation over the years that girls looking for BF's don't shag until at least date 3.... sometimes even later....</p> <p>Now I have a theory that relates to poker.......</p> <p>In simple terms.... girls want relationships...men want sex...... I know that dynamic is shifting, but we're talking "old school" theory... </p> <p>If a girl gives a chap what he wants.. namely a fuck then he has less incentive to go back.... men are animals, hunter gatherers, we like to chase and to catch what we hunt..... now if lunch just trotted up and jumped in a lions mouth he would get fed sure, but he wouldn't feel like he had earned dinner... like he had won it and brought it home to feed the family. Men need to feel like they have won, or beaten another man to something.... that's why we like sports.....</p> <p>So, ....back to poker..... if you get dealt a hand and it isn't much good, then it has only cost a little to start the hand, so throwing it away isn't much of a loss. However, if you have played the hand few a couple of betting rounds then you will have invested a significant sum in it and hence be inclined to see it through to the end..... win or lose, you become what is called "pot committed", you have to keep putting more and more in cos you will lose too much walking away.....</p> <p>Girls looking for a BF do the same thing....... give a wolf a taste, then leave him dangling...... see him a few times..... let him get to know you..... and after a week or two of this he will be gagging to fuck you and will also find himself "pot committed" as your BF by the time he gets to do so!</p> <p>Long story short, we had a kiss and a cuddle, I tried, she denied access..... seeing her Friday.....</p> <p>Did I mention she has an arse like a peach..... (and I don't mean orange and furry!)</p> <p>Could end up as a seven dater at this rate!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/03/05/the-lovely-lucy-date-3819294/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-03-04:/2008/03/04/man-rules-3814130/singleman2008-03-04T08:55:51+01:002008-03-04T08:57:45+01:00 <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/document/mensrules/2384482" title="MensRules"><img src="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/img/ppt.gif" alt="MensRules" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p> <p>Girls, you should all have a look at this and take note..... your relationships will be much better once you have got your head around what makes us tick! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/03/04/man-rules-3814130/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-03-03:/2008/03/03/just-say-no-part-3812570/singleman2008-03-03T21:56:06+01:002008-03-03T21:58:55+01:00 <p>It seems that I am now taking requests!!! Due to popular demand hear is some more info on Just say no....</p> <p>We have known each other on and off for over ten years.... been fucking each other on and off for most of that time.... with a few LTR's preventing such shenigans here and there on both our parts.</p> <p>She has a certain something it has to be said, but not enough to get a game every saturday..... she is more of a substitute player, leave her on the bench and perhaps give her a run out in the second half if you're losing and need a score!! (I like this football analogy...)I may well return to it in the future!</p> <p> She has lots going for her but doesn't always believe in her own abilities..... not good for her, but very handy for gits like me!! Over the years I have tried several times to open her eyes to what she could be doing with herself...... especially with her Dyson like suction and a couple of other party tricks that would float any mans boat.</p> <p>I have never understood pretty, smart girls with esteem issues..... blokes have the opposite problem.... with fat uggos think they are Clooney lookalikes!</p> <p>One of "Just say nos" best attributes is that she dresses very well.... everytime I have had the pleasure of having the pleasure she always has the prettiest lingerie on, and it always really suits her. Lots of girls think sticking anything small on will cut it..... it won't!</p> <p>She looks very fuckable in her undies...... which is probably part of why I never say no....... so why is it that when I wake up in the morning I would gladly gnaw off my arm if she were lying on it rather than wake her?? At times I think I must be missing a gene or something.... I must have only got the humping gene... and missed out on the hand holding one!!</p> <p>Anyway.. to more exciting topics.... tomorrow I get date one with the lovely Lucy.......... yum yum </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/03/03/just-say-no-part-3812570/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-03-02:/2008/03/02/keeping-out-of-trouble-3807634/singleman2008-03-02T22:02:37+01:002008-03-02T22:03:44+01:00 <p>I am staying in tonight....... I am still appalled nay disappointed at my conduct last night....... I shouldn't let "HIM" make all my major life decisions....... mind you at least life is fun when I do!!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/03/02/keeping-out-of-trouble-3807634/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-03-02:/2008/03/02/just-say-no-3805703/singleman2008-03-02T15:26:01+01:002008-03-02T15:26:01+01:00 <p>"just say no" is a long standing boomerang bonk of mine, named thus because either I or for that matter her should "just say no"!</p> <p>She woke up in my bed this morning........ which is the first time this year to be fair, and the first since Autumn if not a bit earlier. I tripped over her in town whilst bar hopping and as so often happens with her after I have had a beer of two, I brought her home. </p> <p>You see its like this, she is fit.... in almost every department she is an eight with most voters, except on the sanity vote where to be frank she is left wanting....... there have been times where if I had had bunnies....... then I would no longer have bunnies.... if you get my drift. I have had nights with her where the sex was brilliant, and yet other nights where it was akin to humping a bear trap! </p> <p>Now I must confess that I do like a bit of a spark, a girl with an edge to her, but "Just say no" is so much more than that..... its like she is rowing but only one oar is in the water.....</p> <p>So with neither of us seemingly prepared to "Just say no" this recurrent one night stand scenario looks set to pervade. Each morning when I stick her in a taxi I tell myself next time to be strong.... but with wearying monotony she appears in my bed on a Sunday...... and to be blunt, I think whatever twisted magic we have when we are drunk, disappears when the beer wears off. I think she would agree with that too.</p> <p>I will say one thing though...... she could suck a grapefruit through a drinking straw..... and that cancels out a whole lot of crazy!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/03/02/just-say-no-3805703/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-03-01:/2008/03/01/the-lovely-lucy-3800283/singleman2008-03-01T09:36:13+01:002008-03-01T09:36:13+01:00 <p>I decided last night to bust some moves on the lovely Lucy and see what happened. I was getting good vibes from her the night before, so thought I would take my usual predatory role and see what happened.</p> <p>As I walked into the pub she caught my eye almost instantly, spun round to grab a pint glass and waved it at me in a questioning manner.... I gave her what is I believe the standard "please may I have two of those gesture" namely the Churchill "V" sign as I had an old mate in tow.</p> <p>It is always warming to receive your drink just as you are perching yourself on your barstool, it give a sense not only of belonging, but of unspoken importance.....(or is that just me?)</p> <p>Lucy was looking good, tight well cut ripped jeans, crop top showing a great looking midriff...... I told you I was a sucker for a flat stomach...... and there it was, not an ounce of fat in site, no muffin top, no back boobs...... there and then I was in pub viewing paradise!</p> <p>The icing on and otherwise fantastic cake was that she had felt the need for no unneccessary adornments, no pierced belly button (why do girls do that?) and best of all, no whore mark........... (that isn't as derogatary as it sounds, it is a play on words from hallmark.... i.e. a stamp on jewellery to signify quality....... a whore mark....i.e. a tattoo on a girl at the base of the spine to signify a lack of quality!)</p> <p>Once again I have to ask the question "why would you have such a thing on your body?"....... I have yet to see a tattoo that made someone look better............ do you add it so that men have something to look at whilst fucking you doggy style?? If that's the case you could maybe have sudoku or a crossword instead? and you could have a pen clipped to your belly button dangly thing maybe?? </p> <p>Anyway, I digress..... there I was looking the loving Lucy up and down with what could only be described as a lascivious grin on my face when I realised that she was watching me watching her...... as I caught her eye she said " when you are quite finished.....?" but I couldn't help but notice that she was blushing a little as she said it. I left her to work for a bit and caught up with my mates life, trials and tribulations..... as the conversation twisted and turned I couldn't help but notice Lucy looking over on occasion.... now of course she might have just been looking to see if we needed a refill yet...... but that isn't how my brain works..... she's interested, of course she is!</p> <p>As the evening wears on I warm more and more to the charms of the lovely Lucy, by our 6th pint I have nothing else on my mind..... much to the disgust of my mate! </p> <p>I take my chance while he is taking a piss and Lucy is replenishing our drinks........ something along the lines of " It would be great to have the chance to get to know you better..... do you fancy dinner one night next week?" To the point, not too strong.... I thought I had a nice balance between saying what I was thinking and being polite and respectful......... she looked me up and down, screwed her nose up (which incidentally was very very sexy!) and said she would think about it......... well I'll be fucked.... or not........ I fucking hate fucking "MAYBE" !!!!!</p> <p>The lovely Lucy instantly became challenge No.1........ </p> <p>In a situation like this is is all too easy to take a passive role and sit back waiting for the girl to make her mind up..... it has been my experience that that rarely happens and only leads to a period of disquiet in your life. Far better to force the issue without appearing too aggressive at the same time.</p> <p>We had another pint, and decided upon a curry to finish the evening. As we stood to leave I called her over and gave her my business card with my mobile on it. "My dinner invitation was a limited invite" I say, "it expires at midnight"...... the thing about ultimatums is that you need to be prepared for the worst consequence as that will be the outcome at least 66% of the time. I consider a "NO" to be an improvement on a "Maybe" so I am not going to lose anything if this doesn't pay off, but if it does then I will have regained the upper hand.....which is always a good place for an Alpha male to be.</p> <p>I smiled at her as her hand lingered just a little too long when she took the card from me, resisted the temptation to wink at her (why do men do that..... it seldom looks good!) and headed for the curry house, time 11:03.</p> <p>We get through the popadums and the starters, my mate discussing a new business venture that he is very keen to get going, and I lose track of the time. As I am tucking into my Lamb Rogan Josh my phone chirps into life....... a text message...... the chicken! ...... "Tuesday 8pm meet u in the pub,xx ....... the time 11:59......... I like the way this girls mind works! </p> <p>Bish..... Bash....... Bosh.......... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/03/01/the-lovely-lucy-3800283/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-02-29:/2008/02/29/fresh-meat-3796967/singleman2008-02-29T13:30:43+01:002008-02-29T13:30:43+01:00 <p>I popped into my local early last night for a small restorative before dinner. I was delighted to see a new girl behind the bar.... slightly nervous, no idea how much to charge or where anything is, but thats ok.... in a few weeks she will be in full control I am sure....... </p> <p>..... anyway, to more important matters...... she is a bit of a cutie truth be told..... rapidly added to my things to do list!</p> <p>So far I have discovered that her name is Lucy, 20, Uni didn't work out.... feeling a little lost and directionless, now back at home.... not happy there either..... trying to get a few quid together to go travelling........</p> <p>.... so all I really heard was...... blah blah..... blah..... feeling low... a bit vulnerable..... hence open to offers of excitement..... I figure that she will be up for any reasonable offer that brightens her day...... </p> <p>She looks about 5' 8" ish, auburn shoulder length hair, big brown eyes, friendly smile, sad but still sparkly eyes, slim..... I'm guessing a size 8, maybe 10 at a push..... in short.... a good looking girl...... trim waist... unusual in this town full of chubbies! She claims to hit the gym three times a week... but then we all claim that don't we??? I do love girls that have flat stomachs...... increasingly rare in these fast food times, but a treat when you find someone who looks after themselves.</p> <p>Personally I think about going to the gym three times a week, and perhaps make it happen once..... or twice on occasion.</p> <p>So armed with what I know so far I will make my play for a date over the weekend...... she is definately worth implementation of my four date policy...... so you'll be able to see it in action!</p> <p>She said she was working tonight and Saturday too so I will get in there and get in there.... so to speak!</p> <p>The lovely Lucy as she is now to be known has already shown a little interest in that she was quite open chatting and have a fresh pint ready for me as I finished the last...... always a good sign I find.</p> <p>I will keep you posted.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/02/29/fresh-meat-3796967/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-02-28:/2008/02/28/my-philosophy-3791829/singleman2008-02-28T10:36:53+01:002008-02-28T10:36:53+01:00 <p>It has been nights such as the Boston Strangler incident that have led me to develop my extensive dating philosophy. The basic premise is to extract as much fun from dating as possible with as little agro, hassle, or grief.... which ultimately means keeping women out of the way as much as possible! The only reason I say this is that while girls may well be the cause of much of the pleasure in a mans life, they are simultaneously responsible for 99% of the grief. </p> <p>I spent a few years operating a bespoke dating system that I devised myself after years of dutiful study. This system was the "Four Date Rule", a stroke of genius on my part and very successful too I might add. It has over time been adopted by colleagues eager to benefit from its powers.</p> <p>The basic principles are as follows;</p> <p>1/ You are only going to date person "x" for four dates. Not three, not five, but four.</p> <p>2/Because of this you will subconsciously put in far more effort to maximise not only your enjoyment but that of "x" too..... you see, not so selfish after all!!</p> <p>3/ Date one, is happening because you want to shag "x" and so far you haven't.</p> <p>4/ Date two, is so that having got the first date out of the way, you can actually fuck her properly, cross all the "t"s, dot all the "i"s make the earth move, give her a night to remember you for, etc etc</p> <p>5/ Date three, is to find out where her line in the sand is? I believe that everyone has a line in the sand that they will not cross.... but at the same time they also have a price for which they will do anything. Not necessarily a financial price, but a price, a reward, a feeling, an emotion, call it what you will........ virtually everyone will reach a point at some time when you are asking them to cross their line in the sand...... it can be boringly close, for example girls who think they are too good to give blow jobs...... or it can be frighteningly distant such as the occasion when I found myself in the role of dungeon master... in a real dungeon with one of the dirtiest girls I have ever had the pleasure of fucking when there we were, her fully bondaged up, trussed, tied, gagged and whipped, there's me fucking her up the arse.... whilst fucking her with a peeled cucumber at the same time...... now, I was starting to think that this girls line in the sand had been washed clean away when I found it........ I was all for adding the cucumber to the salad we were having with dinner...... and she freaked..... it never fails to surprise me where the line will appear, but........ it is always there!</p> <p>6/ Date 4, is to double check that you have no desire or need for a 5th date. Now this can get tricky for lots of men who have tried this dating system, they think that they have had such a good time they will carry on...... but that is as you can imagine an error. The only reason that they had four great dates is because they knew it was only temporary. Indeed all relationships are just that, temporary.... sooner or later one or the other of you will die, get sick of the site of the other, run off with your cousins' sisters' dog walker... or whatever, so all you are doing with the system is condensing a long often boring, dull, nag filled shopfest relationship with an abridged highlights version.......... genius I am sure you will agree?</p> <p>I used this very successfully for years until I was hoist by my own petard and consented to a fifth date........ </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/02/28/my-philosophy-3791829/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-02-27:/2008/02/27/the-boston-strangler-3786859/singleman2008-02-27T10:11:41+01:002008-02-27T10:18:53+01:00 <p>One of the most bizarre experiences I have ever had was when I was out in Lincolnshire. Not actually in Boston, but it made a good title!</p> <p>I was in a pub and got chatting to a nice looking young girl, mid twenties, slim, nice smile..... and as it transpires during the course of events..... a certifiable nutcase!</p> <p>We had a few drinks together and one thing led to two things and we ended up back at her place. Coffee, Everything but the girl on cd (which is a key indicator of a woman in pain) and a few candles flickering and there we were bish bash bosh........ I love the way girls proclaim their virtue so valiantly while simultaneously chucking their own knickers over their shoulder and assuming the position! The line " I never usually do this on a first date" is a standard line it seems which makes me;</p> <p>A/ a super stud whom women cannot resist (highly unlikely)<br> B/ witness to the fact that many girls are lying slappers!</p> <p>So there we were, having a kiss and a cuddle her enthuasiasically naked, me in my boxers and as I said bish bash bosh all is good in the world. Ten minutes or so into it we had a position change and she went on top.... and it was at this point ladies and gentlemen that things took what I can only describe as a turn for the worst.</p> <p>During the next few moments we kissed a bit, and then slowly but firmly she put her hands around my neck and started to squeeze. Only gently at first, which caused me surprise, but initially I wasn't too concerned. However as the moments passed and I realised the full implications of her tightening grip I did start to question the wisdom of remaining in such a vulnerable position any longer. With cavalier abandon I rapidly came to the conclusion that this particular fuck had run its course so with what I can by now only describe as mild panic I threw her off me and onto the floor. Grabbing up my discarded clothing I dressed as hurriedly as I could, and despite her protests about misunderstandings I made my excuses and left.</p> <p>To say that I felt I had had a luck escape is an understatement, at that moment I felt fortunate to have survived with everything intact! I lit a cigarette, fired up my car and headed home, older but seemingly no wiser.</p> <p>The following day I received a call from the nutcase herself and was as you can predict dubious about taking it, lest this was the beginning of some mad stalker ritual. I answered her call, more out of curiosity that anything else, after all, how many murderers call their failed victims the following day? I don't have accurate figures, but I suspect it to be quite a low number.</p> <p>Sheepishly she apologised for her actions and then set about trying to explain what had occured and why. It turns out that she had had quite a few one night stands that she had wanted to be more than that. She in her own way concluded that it must be because she was not a very good shag that they didn't come back, so she had set about doing some research. The information that she had relied upon had been gleaned from Cosmo or some similar chick tat publication, and under the headline "Give your man the best sex he ever had" she had devoured the article on asphyxiation taking each and every word as literally as it is possible to do..... I was lucky not to get an orange in my mouth and a bin bag over my head!</p> <p>The part of the article that she must have speed read, ignored or dismissed as superfluous probably contained little snippets such as "if you are in a loving, trusting relationship" and " talk about it first so he knows what to expect"....... at no point in time did it occur to her that her actions might be misunderstood.</p> <p>All she had wanted to do was to give me the best sex I had ever had so that I would stick around...... odd how strangulation sometimes doesn't achieve that!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/02/27/the-boston-strangler-3786859/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:singleman.blog.co.uk,2008-02-25:/2008/02/25/where_to_begin~3779872/singleman2008-02-25T20:53:42+01:002008-02-25T20:53:42+01:00 <p>I do want to make it clear from the outset, I am not a woman hating bastard, a misogynist or any other thing that you care to label me. I love women, lots of them, but usually for quite short periods of time!</p> <p>Since I can recall I have been drawn to the women that are beyond my grasp, the one that says no, the unavailable ones. Once they are there wanting to be with me I lose interest, not intentionally, but it happens, I can't seem to control it or change it as a behaviour so over time I have learnt to live with it and to go with the flow.</p> <p>I had always hoped that as I got older I would mature and lose this trait, but the reverse has actually occured, my attention span is getting shorter with my patience at the years pass. I am a firm believer that if you haven't got what you want, go with what your got. I don't mean that from a partner point of view, but rather in life. Some people wait until everything is in place and correct before they start their business, get married, have a family etc, but I have always rather got going with whatever ingredients I have at my disposal. </p> <p>I seem to have been blessed with a quirky sex drive that will drive me to the four corners of the earth pursuing a fresh challenge...... but soon gives up trying once that conquest has been made. </p> <p>I have loved and I think been loved by three significant partners, each of whom I could have settled down with. In each situation however, it was as if they realised how it would end up even though they were lengthy relationships by my standards. They were most probably right too...... I don't think I will ever be a pipe and slippers putting the kids to bed type of chap. I am more of a good time charlie that women use to cheer themselves up with when their real plans didn't work out......<br> Not that I mind that task, it offers me all of the fun with none of the responsibility that so often sucks the life out of you.</p> <p>I have the utmost respect for those who can love the same woman all their lives. It is a skill set that I am missing from my makeup.</p> <p>I guess I am superficial and even though I initially feel a massive attraction to a woman, once we have had sex I only seem able to focus on her flaws and those traits that piss me off...... at times I truly wish I didn't.</p> <p>Throughout my adult life I have always maintained more interest in those women who never gave themselves to me totally...... the few women who for whatever reason knew how to play me have given me the most pleasure and frustration in equal measure.</p> <p>To me the most frustrating word in the world is "Maybe" it means no in "woman" whereas "No" frequently if not always means yes and "Yes" actually means maybe in "Pricktease".</p> <p>I spend years in my youth chasing a "Maybe" who on and off still says yes...... and has kept me wanting her for all that time.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://singleman.blog.co.uk/2008/02/25/where_to_begin~3779872/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>